This weekend I grabbed dinner with a friend at Zaytinya. Zaytinya is one of my go to restaurants; the food is always reliably good and it is chic without being stuffy. The special list never disappoints and this weekend was no exception. On the special list that night was a delightful dish of shredded lamb in phyllo dough served with a feta yogurt sauce–it was really remarkable.
But this is not about the food or the atmosphere or even the specials. Once again, I feel the need to discuss my favorite topic–service.
My kind of waitress
Let me state upfront I am very “New England” in some ways. I am not a chit chatter or a small talker with strangers. I always acknowledge people and say my pleases and thank yous, but I am not one to idly banter about the weather or what not. It simply is not the way of my people or how I do. Also, my father has been in food service his whole life–as a bartender and a server and now as a store manager at Starbucks–so I really “get” food service. I am not a snob, nor do I think folks in food service are below me…they are me.
Our waitress was capable and our food arrived promptly. Our drinks never waited too long for a refill, though she could have been a bit swifter. The thing that bothered me? Her extreme eagerness.
I know, I know. I am a huge bitch, but really? Do I need an in depth recitation of 6 dishes on the menu she likes? Do I need to laugh about how our names are similar? Not really. It didn’t bother me that much and it certainly did not ruin an awesome meal, but I found it mildly intrusive. My friend pointed out that servers need to hustle and make an impression since they are working for tips. It is a very valid point, but if you are competent, friendly, and attentive, you are a good server. I am not looking for a new friend.
This seems to happen a lot, the overly familiar server. I have been called “hun”; the only place I find this acceptable is at a dinner and someone named Flo is slinging my coffee. The greeting “hey guys” also kind of irks me in a nicer restaurant. But most annoying? Those servers who sit down and talk to you. It has happened more than once and frankly, I damn near want to push them off the chair every time it happens.
So what say you? Am I off base? A huge bitch? On to something? I want to hear your thoughts on service and what is the appropriate level of interaction.
I don’t mind friendliness, but I’m so with you on when waiters sit down at your table. I find it creepy.
Worst of all was at RFD some years back – the waitress plunked her butt down at one of the chairs at the end of our long table, and insisted that we shout our orders to her. In a loud bar. While we were trying to celebrate an engagement. I haven’t been back since.
Screaming my order is not the way I want to spend my evening.
I’m with you. I don’t want to know their name and I don’t want to feel like they are my baby sitter (“and I’ll be taking care of you this evening”). I know those things are scripted by the management types. You want to ingratiate – just tell me you are there to enhance my dining experience so please let he or she know if there is anything you need by way of assistance (short of cutting up my meat). I am a big believer in subtlety and unobtrusive attentiveness. Rock on bitch!
Perfect way to put it–they are there to enhance your dining experience.
I’m sure there will be some to disagree, but I’m with you. I’m big on the whole “just say yes, and we’ll move on” mentality as I find extra chitchat unnecessary.
I actually did a “pet peeve” speech in high school on waiters who sit down and want to be your friend.
AND, I have waited tables!
Right, and I bet you were a good waitress because you know how most people want to be treated.
I agree with you. My father used to own a restaurant and I worked their occasionally. For me, just letting the customers know I’ll stop by every few minutes to check on things was enough. I wouldn’t speak to them during those visits, but checked water glasses, wine, etc. In retail, I did the similar…let customers know I was there and they could ask, but I wasn’t going to walk around with them like a personal shopper.
Customers are there to enjoy your establishment, not you.
It should be relaxing, not stress making.
I’ve worked as a service person in all kinds of venues (ice cream shops, delis, swanky restaurants, and pumpkin patch stands). And the thing I learned about service was simple: A good waitress/waiter/server knows how to read people.
He/she can pick up on those patrons who wants a bit more interaction and those who just want to order, be taken care of, and otherwise left alone. A good wait person is always friendly, polite, efficient, timely—a bad wait person thinks just because they’ve made “a connection” that you’ll forgive them their service mistakes. A good wait person checks in but doesn’t hover, offers assistance but doesn’t overdo it, clarifies not confuses, and tries to make your experience—whether you’re slurping milkshakes or sipping champagne—as pleasant and enjoyable as possible.
That’s not asking too much now, is it?!
p.s. Ahhh, I used to love Zaytinya!!!!
This is why not everyone can wait tables; it is a real skill set. Some people just do not have their fingers on the pulse of a table.
I could rant about service for hours, but if my MANY years as a hostess/waitress taught me ANYTHING, it was that you have to be able to read your customers. Sure, a table full of tipsy men fresh off 18 holes is going to want me to flirt and be sassy. But a group of ladies discussing the details of their upcoming charity event is probably going to want me to bring their food and leave them the hell alone. I made a LOT of money over the years simply by adjusting my approach based on what I learned from my first 5 minutes with each table. It’s not hard to do, but just like anything that falls under the category of “social skills,” some people are just not good at it.
We have had this chat several times. Some people are just socially inept. It is painful.
I am from the northeast as well and I cannot stand chit chat with service people. Take my order, ask if I want a refill, maybe ask if everything is okay but otherwise leave me alone. I have never had anyone actually sit at my table, I cannot imagine it and do not know how I would react if they did. Also, I would go even farther than you. They are not there to ‘enhance’ your experience, they are there to facilitate it. Not participate or enhance. Note, while I have never been in food service I do not think they are beneath me. They work very hard at a difficult job and I tip well, I just do not need the chatter.
Oh, my NE breathren, preach it.
Nah, you are spot on… serve me the food. Talk about your dogs later.
Unless she’s hot. Then she can talk about whatever she wants.
Yes, but I think hot bartenders have more of a pass to be flirty, don’t you?
You’re just very New England, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You like what you like how you like it! I am the same way.
We all ahve our preferences. She should have picked up on it. To be fair, I wasn’t rude or anything. Maybe she couldn’t tell I was annoyed.
And this Ma’am, is somewhere we’re just going to have to disagree to an extent. I’m from the South and having lived here my entire life, I can’t deny the effects. I actually prefer the chitchatty servers. The ones who even in a nice restaurant greet you with “hey guys” or even a casual “hey y’all.”
Now that being said, I always do a double take when a server sits down with us just to talk. If it’s someone one of us actually knows, that’s one thing. But a complete stranger? Umm, no thank you please.
The sitting down thing is SUPER weird. Sometimes they are really invading your personal space and you just want to shoo them away.
Thats where Deutlich was going to take her bday party this year. I’m sad we missed it, it looks delish.
I don’t like the chit chat either, but I think a lot of people do. I think one of the keys to being an awesome server is being able to read your table. The waitress probably just hasn’t learned to read her customers. I prefer overly cheery to non existent though, and I wouldn’t deduct from the tip as long as the service was good.
Oh, we tipped well. I mean, she was a good server, just not my style.
She should have read your vibe and interacted accordingly. That would have been a good server. Some people out there DO want to be BFF’s with everyone they meet, so some patrons would have LOVED that kind of service.
Usually when I am out to eat with a friend, I have a mission – to eat and catch up with my dinner companion who I likely haven’t seen in a while. The more chit chat the waitress has with us, that’s less time I get to converse with the person I came with.
It’s not that you’re unfriendly or a snob, it’s just part of the server/patron dynamic. You go out to eat to be waited on/served because you didn’t want to cook at home (or whatever the reason). You pay the professional to stick to business!
For the record, though, I do enjoy interacting with the staff at places where I am a true regular – because the relationship gets to be familiar over time for legitimate reasons. It can really enhance the dining experience in those cases.
Who the hell wants to be BFF witha stranger? Don’t people have enough friends? It confounds me.
It’s a fine line between excellent service and intrusive. Well, maybe it’s not such a fine afterall. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed the company meal and the meal.
The company and the meal were both great.
No, I’m with you — when you’re out with someone, you want to spend time with that person or people. I mean, if the waiter is your roommate or part of the circle, it’s one thing. Otherwise, seriously, stand the fuck up and keep moving.
At the Bookstore, I get creeped out when customers actually want to talk about something with me. I mean, unless they’re cute. Then it’s okay.
The cute people always win, it is true.
Oh my god. We ate at Majestic in Old Town Alexandria this past weekend. The hostess welcomed us. The waitress welcomed us. The waitress described how they filtered their own water so that it was as pure as it could be and we could have complimentary still or sparkling for a charge. When asked about a drink on the menu, she proceeded to tell us about her favorite drink which was no longer on the menu. It didn’t appeal, so I ordered another something I’d never had before. She brought it and stopped by 3 seconds later to ask how it was. Then she brought out bread and described how it was homemade Amish bread with butter that they made in-house. Then she described the specials. Then she made suggestions about ordering a half-portion of something as an appetizer (again, not on the menu) so that we could get the other two things we wanted with no repeats. Then the food was delivered with full descriptions. Then she came by to ask about drink refills. Then she described the wine. Then she came back to ask how our dishes were. Then she asked about drink refills again. Then she brought dessert menus, complete with descriptions about how everything was made in-house. Then she brought the check and described the homemade fudge that was included with it. We were completely disgusted by the time we left. We literally never had 5 minutes for conversation without being interrupted. I KNOW she was trying to be solicitous, but I’m never going back there again. That’s my second truly lousy experience at a Cathal Armstrong restaurant. He’s pretty much completely off my list at this point.
The last time I went to the Majestic it was just kinda “meh”. They also pushed the whole AMish bread and butter thing. The food should speak for itself. You don’t need a recitation.
im so with you.
i waited tables, in new england none the less, and i couldn’t agree more. there’s a whole balance to it all. friendly and kind but not overly in your face about it all. people are there to dine and enjoy the food and the company they’re with. they don’t need a new bestie or a reach around.
what?
I would take a reach around from you.
What?
I used to wait tables. Sat down at a table once. Girl was eating alone. I sat across from her, and asked her what she would like to drink. She smiled a little too big and told me – and then I realized she couldn’t see my waist apron and I was not wearing any Flair…She thought I was picking her up!
Generally, I can remember a single drink order, but reached for a pad of paper and wrote it down. I pretended not to notice the awkwardness when I told her I would be right back with it.
Oh Tom…. You live and ya learn.
I definitely understand the sentiment. I always come away from interactions like that going, ya know, I didn’t like that server, but I can’t put my finger on why. Being negligent is one thing — an obvious deficiency — but being overly familiar is another thing entirely. I think being able to read the table is key. I went to Potenza (YOU MUST GO!) a few weeks ago with some girl friends and we’d been waiting a while and probably started off kind of irritated, but our server was friendly and attentive without being intrusive and I think that’s the key. He answered questions we had, without too much over-elaboration, and joked when it was appropriate. But then let us enjoy our meal and each other. It’s all about knowing the balance. On the other hand, I went to another DC restaurant (I won’t name names because I still love the place) with my dad this last Saturday and the waiter was perfectly nice, but we ordered one glass of wine apiece and after we declined more, it was like the waiter was annoyed. Our bill came to $150 for the two of us, but he gave off this attitude like he was pissed we didn’t spend more. We had three courses and one glass of wine, but I guess that wasn’t enough for him. It was very off putting.
Oh, I should definitely check out Potenza. Thanks for the recommendation. Also, there are many reasons why people don’t drink at all; no need to be a dick about it. That sucks.
The sit-down waiters creep me out a little bit, too, but in general, I don’t mind a little chit-chat. That being said, I have to agree with what a lot of people have said, that it comes down to reading the table. Maybe with a little more experience she’ll know which tables want the chit-chat, and which ones only want the smile and hustle.
Instincts are hard to come by it seems.
OHMYGODYES.
Last week I went out with some friends and our server was so eager I swear she was on speed. It was creepy as hell; she had this “rubber face” (like, her expression would change in a flash) and kept touching everyone and calling us things like “sweetie”, “hun”, “darling”… weirder still? She was YOUNGER than all of us.
I thought it was just me until I caught my friend Joe’s eye and we both burst out laughing. Too much, too much.
In the end she got the 15% standard. I have empathy for my fellow servers, but only to a point. Honestly, she was lucky I didn’t say something to the manager.
Um, maybe she thought you all seemed really young at heart? I dunno. I got nothing for ya.
The best service is silent but efficient, unless you’re given a green light to entertain. People will ASK if they want your opinion. If you can’t tell whether someone is looking for guidance or should be left alone, you probably shouldn’t be in the biz.
Too many people are in it who should not be. I am not saying this was the case for our waitress, but I have certainly had some REALLY bad servers.
I totally agree with you. I’ve grown up in the restaurant business… my dads a chef, moms a server, and I paid my dues in high school as a server/hostess. Some of my fellow servers were the type to sit down with their customers like they were old friends. I just don’t care. I’m shy, I’m busy. I’ll get you what you want, but I’m not there to play the “omg, your my bff4l” card. Customers have come to expect it though. I’ve had numerous complaints that I’m not friendly enough… I paste on the smile, I bring you your food.. just b/c I don’t want to know every detail of your colonoscopy doesn’t mean I’m not friendly!
Next time I promise I won’t tell you about my colonoscopy. Sorry about that.
I am with you on this one. Unless I initiate the idle conversation, lets just get down to business. The best kind of service, is the kind that appears to flow. Meaning, the server was not necessarily memorable, but the entire experience is. The kind of service that is not intrusive and all your needs are met. It is so easy that people over do it. Just be mellow and attentive. Too easy.
Flow, flow, flow. Seems so simple.
Lexa the Hun: Hostess of The Dinner Party of the Damned
I kinda like it. But I am in my pre-coffee daze.
I like it too.
Read your table.
If a server is TOO friggin chatty/eager, it feels fake to me and immediately turns me off.
Every interaction should feel sincere. I agree.
I became something of a celebrity at a local Chick-Fil-A. The cashiers would go nuts everytime I came in to eat lunch (which was a lot).
It got too uncomfortable, and as nice as they were, I stopped going. And I’m from the South, where this is supposed to be the norm.
I’m all for friendly banter, but I, like you, don’t want to “get to know” my waiter/waitress. Get to work bringing me my food, and you’ll get compensated for it. Don’t stand around telling me about your weekend.
What the…? I have to know how the cashiers at Chick-Fil-A were so over the top.
Maybe it’s my New Englandness, too, but I don’t want heavy interaction with my server either. I just want them to do their jobs well — get me a drink when I sit down, take my order promptly (and even write it down so it doesn’t get screwed up), check on me once in a while to make sure everything’s OK and get me the tab (and take my money) in a timely fashion. Anything beyond that is awkward and uncomfortable.
yes! Write it down! It is rare a server can actually remember an order.
I LOVE talking to strangers because it’s so easy – human camaraderie and then ya never need to see ‘em again. Ever.
But having witnessed me chat up the folks in those toll booths – I imagine you are already aware of this. Haha.
yeah, but it is so…superficial.
I totally agree with you. First, I love Zaytinya; I went there just last week. Second, I don’t like over eager wait staff. I waited tables on and off for ten years to pay for undergrad and grad schools. There are a couple of things I learned. Wait staff should try to greet the table within a minute, even if it’s to say “Hi. I’ll be right with you.” When you clear the table, get to the barest setting needed. Always write down what was ordered – always. But, most importantly, take your cue from you guests regarding how chatty you get. If people look like they are on a date, don’t get chatty. If people have stiff body language with you, don’t get chatty. If people seem busy or act terse, don’t get chatty. It’s called social skills people.
Well, and sometimes people are on a first date or maybe having a really serious conversation. Gotta stay out of it.
You are bothered by her eagerness?! Damn, you are mean.
Oh, you know exactly what I mean, DF.
I guess I may be the only one who thinks you are asking a bit much. You can write off my comment because the closest I’ve gotten to food service is volunteering at a soup kitchen. As I see it, being able to do a job well – any job – can be hard to find. The skills required to be a great waitstaff are often worth more money somewhere else. If someone can read a table and make a good impression on people from all over the country, don’t you think they might be worth more as a lobbyist, or at least in higher end sales? At the end of the day, my experience has been that the folks who have the dedication and follow through to be a great waitperson generally have the dedication and follow through to put together a resume for something that pays more.
My sense is that people are only waiting tables for the money (as opposed to teachers, who actually care about what they do). Asking someone to treat this as a profession is asking a bit much.
Um, wow. Pretentious much?
Do you not think people who work in food service aren’t passionate about food? About wine and hospitality? Not everyone wants to be a cog in a machine, working in mind numbingly dull professions like lobbying. I am incredibly happy there is diversity in this world and not everyone wants to wear a fucking suit every day and work towards…nothing.
Oh, and if you live for money, servers at high end restaurants make buckets of cash or at least a lot more than you probably think.
I totally agree. Waitstaff–in fact, all customer service people–should be friendly without trying to be your friend.
I will say, though, that pretty much everyone in customer service East of the Mississippi and North of NoVA needs to get over themselves, and relearn the ideas of service with a smile and the customer always being right (even when they’re not).
The customer is always right unless they are completely condescending and treat waitstaff like second class citizens.
there is such a fine line of a good server and an eager server.
like i get it, i just took my last sip of water but you don’t have to grab it out of my hand as i’m setting it down to refill.
also the shredded lamb dish makes my greek heart explode with excitement. i want it, now.
Oh, we have to go to Zaytinya the next time you are here. All Greek food.
I like service that is friendly in a slightly reserved manner, yet laid-back and unpretentious. It’s nice to know that your waitress/waiter understands how the dining experience is special but doesn’t take it overly seriously. A subtle sense of humor is good too. I’ve only been there once, but Obelisk epitomized the above traits. Shoot, I feel like I may have just described my dream date as well.
Yes, a well place joke is nice. I don’t need a silent ninja waiting on me or something.
UGH i hate “HUN”.
some girls ten years my junior referred to me as “hun” the other night. ridiculous.
I am ok with terms of endearment for friends–I am actually quite partial to them–but not strangers. I think it is rude as hell.
I think overly chatty waiters can be annoying as well, however another thing that annoys me is the ones with no conversational skills at all. Example,
“Is your food good?” – Bad waiter, leading question.
“How is your food?” – Good waiter, open ended question
Subtle things like that annoy the crap out of me and it really shows how good a waiter really is.
Gilahi also touched upon this, with the waiter telling you how good the food is.
And one last thing, in my experience there are also cases where the waiter could spend more time with the group instead of running off. I get it when it is a busy night, but when there is no one else except for one sexy girl in the corner having your waiter basically interrogate you as fast as possible so he can run back and chat with the sexy girl is not good either.
Welcome BC…great point. Knowing the right kind of questions is key.
I agree. You’re paying real money for your dining experience. The person (waitstaff, bartender, barista, hostess, valet, drycleaner, anyone who you pay money for a service) should treat you kindly, but not be over-the-top.
That said, I lived in DC for four years, and found it hard to make friends. Maybe you just looked fun?
I was showing excessive cleavage, I won’t lie.
Oh my lawd. I totally agree. I’m from the South and it doesn’t make a bit of difference. Mind you- I think most DC service people err on the side of rude but I don’t want to be best friends with them either. Do what I ask, politely, and then leave me alone so I can enjoy my dinner. It’s especially irritating when you’re on a date- like, hello? Clearly, we’d like to be left alone.
I have had some dates where I prayed for some sort of intervention, but it was more than they be struck mute…
I don’t mind super nice waitstaff. The overeagerness can be annoying, but that trait is annoying in general, and in the grand scheme of things, I’d prefer an overly friendly as opposed foultempered and never around waitstaff. Let me put it this way: With an eagerbeaver, you usually walk out with somebody commenting on how perky or overbearing the waiter was, and that’s the extent of the remembrance of the event. Bad service on the other hand, can linger with you for days.
I don’t believe waitstaff should sit down at your table. Period. I’ll leave it at that. Also, it is not acceptable for waitstaff to hit on you or your date in mixed company.
Yes, hitting on anyone is generally unprofessional as all hell.
I know what you mean. Nice is one thing, and exceptional service is mandatory, especially in a nicer establishment. But the staff often need to be educated on where the line between familiar and unfamiliar is drawn. It seems as if people today are all a little too friendly. Maybe it’s because of facebook. Everyone feels the need to overshare.
Welcome ParmieuxParks. I definitely agree…we are a very familiar society.
The manager at my restaurant makes a good point: you, as a server, weren’t invited to dinner. Don’t try and join the party.
I hate it when servers list their favorites without prompting from the table. We all have different tastes, and people get mopey if their server didn’t list what they were eying as a favorite.
I only use the word “guys” at brunch (if you’re hungover and in sweats and shoving bacon in your mouth faster than I can bring it to you, I figure “guys” is in order, despite the fact that that bacon costs $5)
The absolute worst is when a table calls ME “hun” or “sweetie”–just because I’m serving you food, doesn’t mean you can be condescending. I’ve got my masters degree, fucker.
Yes. If I ask how the short ribs are tell me, but don’t come to the table raving about the catfish. I don’t really love catfish.
I agree, I don’t want to chat with the server. I’d be fine with robot service if it was fast and acurate. My husband, however wants to joke with everyone and it’s very off-putting if they don’t respond even a little.
I think it’s probably better to err on the side of being a little too friendly than not friendly enough, however they should never sit at your table unless they are a personal friend. Or they are really cute.
I think David above was wrong when he said someone who can read a table could have a “better” job. We can all pick up on subtle clues like body language if we try. It’s not brain science or rocket surgery, just normal human communication, pay attention!
Yeah, well truth be told, I think Davis is a snob and a bit of a dink so don’t listen to him.
I know. That was mean. My blog. I can be mean.
Since I left the food service industry several years ago as the best waiter/bartender DC has ever seen I think my opinion on this matter is very valid and I would have to say I totally agree with you. I was only chatty with people who talked to me first and I didn’t really like to offer unsolicited opinions. You’re really just better off being polite, prompt, and making sure a costumer has everything they need without being intrusive. Less is more.
Right. I am also totally curious as to where you used to work.
I’m the same way. There is definitely a difference between being friendly and coming on entirely too strong. Despite being from the south, I’m not one for small talk with strangers either. And being called “hun” by someone I don’t actually know? I find it so condescending.
Seriously, I hate it. Why are you calling me sweetheart? I could be a total asshole. LEAVE ME ALONE.
So I have to say I waited tables at Outback in college – circa 2000/2001. They trained us that we either had to kneel down at the end of the table, or sit at the table. Let me just say that all that f’ing kneeling…seriously some days after 6 or so hours I was definitely sitting. I don’t know if they still train their servers to do that or not, but I thought it was stupid then, and I think it is stupid now.
Outback, you suck. So uncool…though those blooming onions….
i’ve had so much BAD service that i’ll happily take chatty as long as it’s also good. of course, i’d prefer they leave me alone so i can talk to my dinner partners instead, who are the folks i’m actually INTERESTED in chatting with.
Right–they are not part of your party!
A bit late on the commenting today, but am at a conference this whole week so please forgive.
I’ve actually never had that happen to me. My waiters/waitresses have usually been nice, to the point (“wadda ya want”) and then I pay up. The only time I’ve ever been called “hun” is in an old diner, just outside of Boston, with older women waitressing. And I have to admit, I loved it. It just completed the whole atmosphere.
It is different at a divey diner for sure.
If someone calls me hun, I consider it sex.
Had to buy a lot of new pants.
You really are a romantic.
We were just talking about this last night. How Captain Keebler washes his hands before he sits down to order and the waitstaff at this particular restaurant hold out their hand to shake when they introduce themselves. The horror of the germs.
Lots of cross pollination going on there. Don’t ever let him see a restaurant kitchen.
I hate overeager wait staff. As a former waitress myself, it makes me uncomfortable when someone is too chatty. Hell, my profession is sales and small talk, but when I go out to eat, I go with my friends — to enjoy their company — not to make small talk.
That said, I have a friend who always asks the server for their name and insists on calling the server by their name for the ENTIRE meal. “Megan, can I get another napkin?” or, “Megan, what do you think of the quiche?” Most servers are annoyed, as I am, by her behavior.
I know people like that as well…I feel it is really patronizing to the poor server.
As a long-time server I can say with experience that, no matter what you do, you cannot win. You can’t. It’s a very Mama Bear and Papa Bear sort of thing – you are either too hot, too cold, too slow, too fast, too friendly, too distant. What works for table one will fail spectacularly with table two. With table one, you are expected to wait until everyone is finished eating before clearing any of the plates; with table two, you are expected to pick up each dish the moment it’s licked clean – etiquette be damned.
The best trait in a server is the ability to read minds, or at least be able to size up their customers and try to cater to what they *think* that customer expects of them. Personally, I would be satisfied that my glass is consistently full and that my food is hot, my silverware present and accounted for, but some folks want more hands-on attention than that and, hopefully, their server will be able to pick up on that well before they drop the check and say, “Come again!”
Right. I am also totally curious as to where you used to work.
I worked at The Dubliner for a few years. Which actually sort of invalidates my entire claim because I think to be the best waiter in DC you should actually be serving decent food, but whatever, I was still awesome.
What needs to be emphasized above all else is that this overly familiar behavior is mandated by management, especially, but not exclusively, at corporate outfits – as others have noted. If a low-skilled, low-paid customer service worker is doing something annoying, most of the time it’s because their boss will punish them if they don’t.
The major exception to this is probably servers sitting down with you. That’s just a symptom of society that has lost its valuable standards in pursuit of all things casual. You are in your rights to tell such a waiter to get the hell out of your personal space.
I waited tables for several years at a corporate outfit. My preferred posture of being brief, courteous and competent was criticized (shamed, really) by management as amounting to insufficient friendliness and work ethic. This is why I would advise anyone against working for a chain, and it’s why I never patronize them.