I think I have been fairly restrained on this site about my intense, burning hatred of Rachel Ray. It is a very fiery hatred, let me assure. It has roots that run a mile deep.
It isn’t even her recipes so much; I get they have a place. I have even made a few and have liked them just fine. More than most folk, I accept that sometimes you want to eat a meal that doesn’t come from a greasy bag. It isn’t haute cuisine, but it is dinner. Her stuff usually appears palatable and I will take her any day over that tablescaping drunken freakshow, Sandra Lee.
It is her cheesiness that really pains me. The grinning. The wild hand gestures. The “yummo” and the “groovy” and her painfully awkward banter with children. Her dog’s name is “Isaboo”, Christ Almighty. It hurts me. She is always punning, laughing at her own perceived cleverness. Puns are the lowest form of humor. Hers makes me want to stab myself in the face with one of her stupid orange handled knives.
Yet, more than anything, it is the names of her recipes that kill me. They are all so…forced? Trying too hard? They are things like “Mama G’s Favoritist Meatloaf” or “The Stuffing of Hopes and Dreams”. My most loathed is “You Won’t Be Single for Long Vodka Cream Sauce”. Ya know what Rachel? I don’t think it takes a perfect vodka cream sauce to snag a man. I think hours of boring baseball games, attending mind numbingly dull work functions, and acquiescing to his constant pleading regarding introducing a video camera to the mix will get you much farther than a pasta sauce…or so I have heard.
Except, when faced with naming a recipe, I kind of realize how hard it is…and I start to relate to Ray Ray. This is enough to make me cry a river of EVOO tears.
But what to call this recipe? “Easy Peasy Tuna Toss”? “Protein Packin’ Salad?” I am throwing in the towel on this one and giving it a non-name. All I know is it tastes good, is super healthy and filling thanks to the tuna and chickpeas, and is cheap as hell. I ate it all week over lettuce for lunch (well, except for Wednesday, but let’s just forget that day even happened..) and felt smugly superior to my coworkers eating take-out.
So call it whatever you want…just don’t use the word yummo.
Tuna Salad without a Name
1/4 cup low fat mayo
1 1/2 tablespoons whole grain mustard (or dijon)
3- 6 oz. cans tuna (in water)
1- 15 oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
3/4 cup frozen peas, thawed
1 stalk celery, diced
3 tablespoons red onion, finely diced
Salt and pepper
Mix together mayo and mustard in large bowl. Add remaining ingredients and stir together to combine. Let chill in fridge so flavors mix for about an hour before eating, but ideally overnight.