Last night, I went to the Ben Folds concert at DAR Constitution Hall. Yesterday was a bit of a rough day, a perfect storm one may say, where about 5 things came to a head. Individually, these things would have merely annoyed me, possibly solicited an eyeroll and quick gchat bitch session. Combined, though, these matters left me a bit surly. I spent the day reminding myself that things are looking up on the job front (I’ve been interviewing a ton) and, as an added bonus, I would be able to dance away all the frustration at the concert. I am really taking this new positive thinking thing out for a spin.
Oh, Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben. Why must you test me so? This concert was terrible, simply awful. EJ, my concert-going companion, says it far better than I could, but I have never been so offended or disappointed by a concert. This was, hands down, the worst show I have ever attended. He played just shy of 90 minutes, with the first 70 minutes spent playing music from his album that will not be released until next week. He played 4 songs EJ and I knew; 4 songs from a catalogue that has spanned close to two decades and has afforded him a pretty nice life. It was a slap in the face. Look, I understand self indulgence, truly, but this was too much. He didn’t engage the audience; in fact, he was almost petulant. He was lacking in charm or any sort of showmanship. About halfway through, I looked over at EJ and whispered, “If this were a date, I would be desperately texting you telling you to come up with some emergency”. What makes it worse is I feel my memories of former shows, previously recounted fondly, have been sullied. I would have much rather taken the $55 dollars I spent on that ticket and had a few bottles of wine with EJ; she respects me, my time, and my money. Also, she doesn’t sing songs about “bitches” with opinions and how they are nuts.
But, there is always an upside: I could be Spike Mendelsohn. Now, despite some personal reasons, I think Good Stuff is…pretty good stuff. The burgers are a gooey delight and the shakes are divine. (Seriously, I still dream of that marshmallow shake.) Spike’s presence has pissed some people off in DC. He has had to deal with complaints about the inconsistent quality of his burgers, ridiculously long lines at his place, and a general disdain by some in the restaurant community for his fame-whoring and courting of reality TV. (Rumor has it that they are shooting a reality show in the restaurant starting soon.) Well, looks like Spike is getting hit with a different kind of reality: Good Stuff has been cited with several serious health code violations, including storing beef in the ally outside of the restaurant. Spike, you done and screwed up good. I understand the hand washing thing–it happens and I am a realist–but meat in an ally? You are already a walking target…don’t make it easy to pick on you.
Yes, I know taking solace in the pain of others isn’t exactly in the spirit of “positive thinking” but it sure helps me. It could always be worse. Poor Spike…kinda.
At least we won’t be tempted to go back for those milkshakes…
But is it sad that after reading this, I really want a cheeseburger for lunch?
I want one too! Then again, I always want a cheeseburger.
I was at that show too, and I felt the same way. In fact, I posted about it today too.
What a letdown. Like, I know no one died and there are bigger problems in the world, but seriously? The economy sucks and people shelled out a not insignificant amount of cash to be there. Don’t be a dick.
I want a cheeseburger. And some Gatorade. And Dramamine.
What? I’m always this hungover.
Oh, you make me proud Shannon.
I hate it when concerts fail to live up to their potential, especially if it is an artist you have seen before, and know their capabilities. Such a shame.
As for Spike, I haven’t actually been to Good Stuff yet, but now…hmm…I may have to settle my sights on Rays Hell instead!
Hellburger is a tasty treat…but might I suggest Palena?
Palena? Really!?! That’s in my neighborhood. sweet…
Maybe we could have a girl date?
After reading this I was expecting a recipe for “Poo Poo Platter [adapted from Ben Folds]” and a picture of a silver platter with a Brick (haha, get it?) of fake plastic poop on it (since I think real poo would probably violate the poo humor rule, but fake would be funny and acceptable).
All this cheeseburger talk has me thinking Five Guys. A pox on all of you!
Yeah, nothing will get me to violate the poo rule..no poo talk here!
I second Palena. They’re the best.
Reality show? Burger Boy is going to be famous. He’d better stock his wallet…
Well, all a man needs in his wallet is a condom and an ID. The rest is left to destiny.
Spike is lucky that his restaurant isn’t in New York, where the Department of Health has gone on this jihad of closing restaurants without warning for the most technical health code violations. It’s given rise to a new verb, to DOH (example: “the restaurant was DOH’ed yesterday because its refrigerator temperatures were set one degree too high”).
Wow. I mean, sometimes it is necessary, but sometimes things just get a little gnarly in restaurants. I accept that.
What? It’s only there for “5 to 7 minutes”. Plus, I’ll bet he keeps the alley really clean…
I hear there is a 5-7 minute rule…true story.
You know, I just am NOT on the Palena burger bandwagon. The one that I had was overcooked and underwhelming. The bun was tasty, though.
I am uber-pissed I moved out of DC before Spike’s place and Ray’s came into existence. Ah, well–I hear that Richard Blais wants to open a high-end burger joint here in ATL, something to look forward to!
Well, and the integrity of the bun is very important, as we know.
You should move back to DC to get one of these burgers…just a suggestion.
That’s why I love Bon Jovi concerts… Jon knows that we all just go for the chance to hear Livin’ on a Prayer. And other classics. He’s a crowdpleaser, I tell ya.
I saw Bon Jovi earlier this year and it was an awesome, cheesy delight. I had so much fun and danced my pants off.
It’s always so disappointing when that happens. Like when I went to see the Counting Crows in college and I saw some asshole from high school who I hated in the row in front of me.
Also, the show sucked.
Counting Crows in college? Dude, you are dating yourself.
I need a respirator cuz I’m runnin’ out of breath / You’re an all night generator wrapped in stockings and a dress / When you find your medicine you take what you can get…
Oh, memories…
Wife: health inspector
Me: long-time food service whore
It’s a mix’d marriage.
There have certainly been stranger pairings…but that is a bit of an odd one.
i want a valium AND a milkshake..i aint skeeered of a little alley meat…
xoxo
You are a woman after my own heart.
Little Alley Meat
Not a source of great concern.
Also, good band name
Oh, fantastic band name! I am always trying to come up with my band name.
Lem’s band name could be
Culinary Couture, or
Spooning With Hotties.
Culinary Couture is kinda a shitty band name, don’t you think?
Well, you try coming up with a band name haiku in about 10 seconds. Besides, if a weird Japanese band could find success with Cibo Mato (Good Food), then Culinary Couture ain’t that bad.
I wasn’t mocking your haikus…I love them. And you are right.
Actually, Spoons With Hotties is her Indian name.
Now the secret is out.
I totally commiserate with you on this one, love. As someone who grew up with Ben Folds down in Winston-Salem, I’ve seen him go from relevant and fun to old and bitter. The quality of his concerts have sharply declined in the past few years, and it’s almost like he refuses to acknowledge the catalogue that put him where he is today.
Sad Panda, wish you had a better time.
I had great company, but sadly everything else was the pits. Oh well…such is life.
Lemmy’s new band
Takes dump on Ben Folds
Rock clevelend steamers
NO POOP TALK! AHHHHHHH.
POOP!
At this very moment, I hate you, Peep. I really do.
Just kidding. Sorry you are having a tough day/week (?) Perhaps you should “suspend” things for a while to focus on the economic crisis in Washington. That is SURE to make you feel better about EVERYTHING.
I hate to call you out so openly on your blog, but I know one of the things that upset you had to be the death of the dream of your future with Gaiken. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here for you friend.
I really cannot discuss Gaiken. I am just too upset over it.
Ah, I’m sorry Lemmy. I couldn’t help myself. I’m in a weird mood today.
—-
Lemmy is appalled
DF brings down maturity level
Kitchen vixen seethes
Vixen? All is forgiven.
D-F and Lemmy
Need help with syllable counts.
Five-seven-five, kids.
Snap! DF, I believe you just got served.
Thank goodness you were there to commiserate last night. I forgot to tumbl it last night (damn that fourth six dollar Bud Lite), but as I said during the show, “this concert is the musical equivalent to a guy masturbating next to you in bed and then saying ‘okay, I’m ready to stick it in.'”
Damn you Ben. Damn you to the deepest hell. I loved how we were both like OH, WE ARE WRITING ABOUT THIS! He trembled, I am sure.
Lemmy omits self
In funny snap-serv’d comment.
But that’s her right, y’all.
I didn’t write any haikus today! Plus, I am never wrong.
Damn, I just noticed that. Well I suppose today is just not my day.
Naah, it is cool. I give you artistic license.
I see today rather than setting out the recipe in typical form you have gone for a free form style,
one self involved performer
2 disappointed women
2 emptier wallets
8 oz potentially tainted ground beef
mix first three ingredients until are all of a piece, comment on meat season to taste and serve simmering but beware of bitter taste
Caution – may cause uncontrollable urge to communicate in haiku
You win for comment of the day jman. This is fantastic.
Meat in the alley?
Not for Ben Folds if he keeps
Pissing off groupies
Seriously, he’s been a bitch for years.
Last night was a tough lesson in the depth of his bitchiness. Le sigh.
Lem is right. Me: not.
Mistook D-F poetry
For Lemmy response.
All is forgiven.
stupid musicians… being a former one, I can definitely say that we sometimes forget who pays us. We’ll sit up there and play things that we enjoy, whether or not the audience enjoys it. When you think about that, it’s pretty darn selfish, isn’t it? This especially sucks when you plan on seeing an awesome concert! Ohhh in response to your Bon Jovi comment above? Yeah – I saw him some years ago when he was here in DC and there’s a guy who really gets it! What a great concert 🙂
Yes, say what you will about Bon J, but they have such fun and really get the audience in to it. Great times.