My cousin SuperBoy is 22 years younger than me. Being so much older makes me more like an aunt than a cousin to him…a wayward, indulgent aunt who caters to his every whim. He isn’t my kid so I don’t have to suffer to consequences of him staying up late or eating an extra cookie…it is my job to be awesome cousin Lem and it is a job I take seriously. So what if playing with knives is a bad idea? He said please.
A few days before Christmas I headed over to SuperBoy and AuntLifeSaver’s house for our annual gift exchange. While his mom was on the phone, SuperBoy and I began roughhousing. I may look like a dainty flower, but I can throw down with the best of them. My brother would beat me mercilessly when we were kids and I don’t think anyone ever loses the fight that’s been instilled in them. Of course, SuperBoy weighs about 50 pounds, so I was very careful to not hurt him. As he stood on the arm of the couch and lept into my arms, I did my best to cushion every landing.
Tried? Did my best? You know this isn’t going to end well.
I knocked his tooth out.
Look, it was loose. Maybe it wasn’t quite ready to come out, but I think the tooth was nervous to leave the safe confines of his mouth. I nudged it out of his gums like a mama bird pushes her baby out of its nest. Plus, SuperBoy kicked me in the face and kneed me in the crotch several times. He had it coming.
As a testament to his encompassing awesomeness, SuperBoy could not contain his glee about the whole situation. He ran to the mirror and yelled:
I look like Alex Ovechkin!
If knocking the kid’s tooth out makes him that happy, I cannot wait to see the look on his face ten years from now when I buy him porn. Oh, little man, I hold the keys to your kingdom.
Three weeks later and the boy still doesn’t have even a smidge of new tooth poking through. All the photos from the holiday serve as a reminder of our holiday reenactment of The Wrestler. Of course, he is a rock star and he ate the hell out of some pizza with me on my birthday. I would totally be slurping some soup, but I am not a 6-year-old boy. I don’t know if this bowl of soup would get that new tooth a moving, but it certainly is something marvelous. It is super healthy–lots of protein and fiber–and tastes fantastic. The cumin makes a bit smoky and it is a bit spicy without being overpowering thanks to the jalapeno and the chili powder. it is comforting and flavorful and you don’t even have to feel bad about it. I threw it together and could not have been happier with the results; I had this every day for a week for lunch and didn’t tire of it. I used light chips on top, but baked or regular chips would work just as well.
So enjoy. If you don’t like this, don’t complain to me. You might be looking for some dental work.
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 medium red onion, chopped
1 medium jalapeno, veined, deseeded and diced
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 quart chicken stock
2 teaspoons cumin
Shake of chili powder (or to taste–can be omitted)
1 15oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 large chicken breast, poached and shredded
1 can diced tomatoes (do not drain)
1/2 cup frozen corn
Salt and pepper to taste
Topping: crumbled tortillas
Heat oil in large stock pot over medium heat. Add garlic, onions, jalapeno, oregano and a pinch of salt to pot and sautee for about 5 minutes to soften vegetables. Add remaining ingredient and cook for about 30 minutes to heat through. The longer it sits the better. Serve with tortilla chips. Also great with cheese, avocados, sour cream…etc.