When my friend B picked up the phone yesterday, I was my usual charming self and greeted him with , “I was about to totally lose my shit if you didn’t pick up the god damn phone.” Clearly, I hate hyperbole.
I’d been trying to reach him for days and though we had texted and the such in the interim, I had some very important things I needed to discuss with him. He is one of those annoying people who hates VM so I have promised to only leave him a message if I really, truly need him. (Conversely, I hate it when people don’t leave VMs so he has agreed to humor me and always leave one. See how well our friendship works?) Something along the lines of I have fallen in a well or I am thinking about cutting my hair again are acceptable reasons to send a mayday VM. My most recent spiral was not VM worthy…even I knew this. Yet, I was still anxious to hear the voice of reason; a special reasoning that can only come from someone you have known for almost 20 years. The boy has me down.
You see, I am worried about my sex drive. Thank Christ it is still there, but my appetite has been completely screwy and I have my concerns. See, the two constant things in my whole life have been food and sex…and an equal fervor for both. Now that my desire for food has been waning, I fear my libido may be next…and then the world will stop spinning on it’s axis. I started lamenting as such when I finally got B on the phone.
“I don’t really know what I want food wise and I am scared sex is next. What the hell will I do?”
“Lex…I don’t think this is really a concern with you.”
“Um, has food ever been a concern before?”
“Hm, well. Seriously though, I think you are ok.”
“Well, today I thought of the only thing I really had any desire to eat and I made it. I don’t care if it is awful for me…something must be done to save myself.”
“Um, crepes like my Memere used to make…and I stuffed them with brown sugar and drowned them in syrup just like her. It is what I wanted. I need to save myself.”
“So healthy kid food, huh? Jesus, Lex….you’re insane.”
I love you too, B…
Adapted slightly from Simple Comfort Food
2 large eggs
1/3 cup of water
1 cup of milk
1 cup of all purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
2 tbsp of unsalted butter, melted for coating the crepe pan
In a blender, mix all ingredients. The mix will be very smooth and super thin. Preheat crepe pan (or fry pan) over meium heat and add butter to pan. Cook on each side for about 2 minutes and flip.