Two is Better than One

Who likes free stuff? I like free stuff. I am sure you like free stuff. Today is our day then.

Stop by any Dunkin’ Donuts today and get a free iced coffee. To me, the only real iced coffee is from Dunkins. I could not be happier that more and more are cropping up in DC. I drank vats of the French Vanilla in high school…Hopefully today’s free cup does not come with a side of teenage angst, crippling self doubt and an outfit consisting solely of plaid flannel. (Thanks to Food Network Addict for the reminder to go get my free coffee).

I step foot in McDonald’s once a year: to get an eggnog shake. Those shakes are a god damned Christmas miracle, delicious holiday merriment. Now, I don’t often think of McDonald’s when I think of southern style chicken, but apparently, they are thinking of more ways to clog our arteries by the day: today they will give away 2 million Southern Style chicken biscuits and 6 million Southern Style chicken sandwiches. I am more of a Big Mac girl myself, but I am pretty sure any kind of fried chicken on a biscuit cannot be bad.

Now go get your free stuff, you cheap bastards.

Mom, You May Want to Skip This One

I cannot actually eat at my favorite Thai restaurant in DC. I love the food, the menu, the location. I quite love everything about it except it is the place where dreams go to die. The place is a black hole for happiness and I avoid it all costs. In fact, it’s name cannot even pass my lips as I fear some sort of epic repercussions that are akin to whispering Voldermort…

I have never had a good date there. Not one. Yet one in particular stands out.

He asked me what hair products I used, commented on my purse by brand, ate about three bites of his food, insulted my career, made disparaging remarks about my outfit, and name dropped through out the evening. If this were not bad enough, the night ended with him asking if he could please maybe just stick the tip in. A grown man, in his 30s, said this to me. This is no way to treat a lady. The only response I had was, “Do I look 17 to you?” To this day, my friends mention the man we have deemed “The Tipster” on a regular basis.

You may be asking yourself why I am sharing this indignity. The reason is two fold: it is damn funny and I like to think of myself as a cautionary tale. Ladies, this can happen to you. If you have a man, hold on to him tight. It is not pretty out here. One moment you are enjoying some tasty Asian delicacy and the next moment you are are trying to rationalize with a drunk man who wants to play hide the helmet.

Seriously, Mom, I warned you.

Though the restaurant is dead to me, Thai food is not. I’ve taken matters in to my own hands and found a Thai recipe I can make at home that tastes just as good as anything you can get in a restaurant, better in fact. I found this recipe on Adventures of a Food Slut (great name, eh?) and followed it religiously except for two adaptations: I swapped tofu for shrimp and reduced the amount of noodles. I have made Pad Thai several times and it has always been good, but not great. When I found this recipe, I know the woman had got it right. It is catsupy and pink, slightly sweet and a tad tangy. The sprouts and carrots are abundant and in fairly equal ration to the rice noodles; you don’t have to feel an ounce of guilt while eating this. Also abundant is the amount of food this recipe garners; I ate this for two dinners and four lunches over the course of a week and still had plenty to share with my roommate. I was really pleased with how this turned out…

…and nothing involving any tip happened as a result of making it.

Pad Thai

Slightly Adapted from Adventures of a Food Slut

13 oz Thai rice noodles
2 cups mung bean sprouts
6 Tbsp ketchup
6 Tbsp lime juice
2 Tbsp brown sugar
1/2 cup fish sauce
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 lb cooked shrimp, chopped finely
2 eggs
2 cups shredded carrot
1 bunch green onions, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
chopped peanuts, crushed red pepper, sugar and vinegar, if desired (I skipped this)

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Remove from heat, add rice noodles, and soak 2 to 3 minutes, until softened. Meanwhile, place bean sprouts in a strainer in the sink. When noodles are softened, pour over the bean sprouts in the colander. Set aside.

In a small bowl, whisk together sauce ingredients: ketchup, lime juice, brown sugar and fish sauce. Set aside.

Wipe out the pot, return to heat, and add vegetable oil over medium-high heat. Add shrimp and cook for several minutes, until just turning pink. Drain off most of the oil, just leaving a trace amount of oil. Whisk eggs lightly and add to pot, quickly scrambling. Add noodles, bean sprouts, carrots, green onions and sauce. Toss several minutes to distribute vegetables and sauce, until heated through.

Serve with chopped peanuts, crushed red pepper, sugar and vinegar for topping, if desired.

Girl Date

Last Thursday, Betty Joan, EJ and I had a hot girl date and plan was to go balls out. Betty Joan moves to Atlanta in a few weeks (that was just a stifled sob you heard from me emitted over the tubes) and EJ is spending the summer doing VERY IMPORTANT THINGS to further her education and career; I will be left behind to…um…hit the bars?  Go to the beach? Do some shopping? There is a weak link in every group.

First stop was The Source, the upscale newish restaurant located in the sparkly revamped Newseum. I am still as impressed as I was last time, though they rejiggered the tuna tar tar and not for the best. It still tastes great but makes an absolute mess, not an insignificant detail when you are crouched on a low couch  I would still strangle a man with my bare hands for one of the kobe sliders and the pork belly dumplings were stellar. The mixed drinks were well prepared and the wine list was eclectic. My one complaint (besides the really old guy trying to pick me up who was convinced I was Russian) were the prices. I generally don’t balk at prices as I think of food as art, but for what it is, it is not cheap. Keep an eye on what you spend or you will find yourself suffering from a bit of sticker shock.

The next stop was Central, an idea we considered genius in our alcohol fueled states. I liked the scene in there more than The Source; it seemed a bit younger, more modern and not one old guy trying to discepher my ethnicity. (I kid; I love old guys. Without older guys and black men, my self esteem would be in the tank. They are my bread and butter.) This was more of a drinking kinda night, but we did share the home made Kit Kat. Lord have mercy.  Crispy wafers, hazelnut nut filling with a side of homemade hazelnut ice cream?  All that is right in the world, let me tell you.  The wine list was great, and more affordable than The Source.  EJ had a Violet Mimosa, a crisp and sweet cocktail, but not sickeningly sugary. It was like nothing I have ever tasted. I cannot wait to go there for a proper meal; the space alone begs more inspection.

It was a fantastic evening with great friends.  Of course it ended with a few regrettable drunk texts, but any night worth having does. And my head didn’t even explode…a fine night indeed.

Detox

Limoncello and Cloverfield. That was how last night was spent. 

I am currently in Florida visiting family. My skin is radiating an uncomfortable amount of heat and I am positive I have guaranteed myself a skin cancer diagnosis about 10 years from now.  Apparently, the lesson of reapplication of sunscreen has not been adequately drilled in to my head. I have a serious case of the cranks and no one to blame but myself. The limoncello and Cloverfield took the edge off, but I think a 6 pack would have been better.

I’m also feeling glutted. Weekend trips such as these are never good for moderation.  Food is never in short supply and the urges to “Eat, Eat, EAT!” have been deeply ingrained in to the women of the family. It’s a Polish thing. I’ve managed to work out every day, but the time in the sun causes the suburn and so the cycle continues.

I fly home this evening and detox begins.  A trip to the beach awaits me in less than two weeks, which means a stoppage on all cupcake consumption. My bikini mocks me, yet has spurred me in to action.

These vegetables are exactly what the doctor ordered.  Annie Birdie made the bulk of this recipe about a week back; I volunteered to do the shredding of the asparagus.  I cannot tell a lie; this part of the recipe if a bit of a pain in the ass.  If you have an extra peeler and set of hands around, I recommned utilizing both.  The final products is great though; the raw ribbons of asparagus are unique and the vinagrette is tangy and refreshing.  And who doesn’t like goat cheese?  It’s a great side dish or makes a light tasty vegetarian lunch. 

And isn’t today’s photo particularly bad?  I miss my beloved Macbook.

Aspargus Ribbons with Lemon Vinagrette and Goat Cheese
From Cooking Light

1 pound large asparagus spears, trimmed
1 1/2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh chives
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
2 teaspoons extravirgin olive oil
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (2 ounces) crumbled goat cheese

Hold each asparagus spear by the tip end. Shave asparagus into ribbons with a vegetable peeler to measure 3 cups. Reserve asparagus tips for another use. Combine asparagus and tomatoes in a medium bowl.
Combine chives and next 6 ingredients (through 1/4 teaspoon salt), stirring with a whisk. Drizzle over the asparagus mixture, tossing gently to coat. Top with goat cheese.

 

Things I Love

The colour pink.  Spelling things like I am British. SuperBoy calling my name.  That nanosecond before a first kiss. The sound of rain while I sleep.  The cold, wet dew on a glass of white wine in the summer.

My fiercly protective friends. Bitchy’s cackle. Indulging my id. My intuition. That “Clocks” still brings me there. It rough.

Popcorn mixed with Whoppers.  Ryan Reynolds. A man with a scar on his face.  Blasting my music at 11.  Inside jokes. Jane Austen. Green eyes. Fresh snow. Clean laundry. Rufus Wainwright.

People magazine.  Black eyeliner.  Leopard Print. Tight jeans.  Big hair. Hoop earrings. Red underwear.

The twack of a knife on a cutting board.  The smell of garlic. Asparagus. Lemon. Deep dish pizza.

The scent of dial soap and CK Obsession, combined. Fresh pavement.  Skin that has just been in the ocean. The stillness of 3 am.

This.

(These ingredients come together and make a dish that is insanely good.  Seriously, this may be the most favorite thing I have made in months.  Eggs and asparagus are a natural pairing and the infused garlic oil sends it over the top.  I had the pantry staples of garlic, parmesan, pasta and eggs at home.  The only thing most will have to buy is asparagus–I had the added bonus of having half a bunch on hand from a previous recipe.  MAKE THIS.  it is phenomenal, simple, cheap.)

Pasta with Eggs and Asparagus

Source: Bitten Blog (with some tweaks and streamlining)

1/4 cup olive oil

4 cloves garlic, lightly smashed but still intact

~10 stalks asparagus, cleaned and chopped into 1″ pieces

2 eggs

1/3 box of spaghetti

Salt/Pepper

Sprinkle Parmesan

Bring pot of salted water to boil on stove. Add pasta and cook until al dente.

While pasta cooks, add oil to sautee pan and heat. Add garlic cloves to pan and cook on medium heat until brown and garlic infuses oil (about 5 minutes). Pluck garlic out of oil (I may have eaten my cloves whole straight from the pan…) and add asparagus. Cook the asparagus about 2 minutes. (You want it to still be firm.)

Push asparagus to one side of the pan and crack the eggs into the other side. Fry the eggs. When eggs are fried, add pasta and stir everything together, breaking the eggs apart as you stir. (Note: you may need some pasta water to thicken the sauce… reserve about 1/4 cup cooking liquid.) Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve and sprinkle with parmesan.

Trashy

All the talk of fried food on a stick yesterday reminded me of this:

To me, the best part of this is the fact that the pancake is of the chocolate chip variety. As if the good folks at Jimmy Dean though, “How can we make this even more enchanting? The pancake wrapped around sausage on a stick is not enough!”

Give me a pitcher of Miller Light and I would totally eat this. Please tell me someone out there has.

Impulse Control

I am a woman guided by my impulses. I wish I could change it, really I do, but my impulses really do steer me. I just cannot stop myself. It is a force. I think of something, I want it, I do it, I regret it. Wash, rinse, repeat. My impulses are to blame for me owning about 10 white shirts and my hideous tramp stamp.

One of the ways I have learned to control these impulses is to just avoid the problem altogether. If I remove his number from my phone, I will not call him. If the cigarettes are not in my purse, I will not smoke them. If the junk food is not in my house, I will not eat it. If the credit card is in my drawer, I will not buy another purse.

This is my theory on frying. I just…cannot. If I started frying in my home, before I knew it, I would be eying a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and figuring out how to bread it for a sweet, beautiful swim in the fryer.

This is why I have been seeking out a good recipe for oven fried chicken. I yearn for the fried chicken (as does my roommate), but my house has been deemed a fry free zone. Finding a recipe is harder than one may think; most oven fried chicken calls for cornflakes. I strongly object to the cornflakes. I don’t understand how cereal is supposed to trick me in to thinking this is fried; it is a lie. I was convinced there had to be a better way, and thank goodness, there was.

This chicken is tender and a really great substitute for fried. The yogurt keeps it moist and the drizzle of olive oil on the chicken makes it crisp. This keeps with this weeks keeping it cheap theme, as bone in chicken is super affordable and most of these spices are in even an amateur cooks pantry. I had bread crumbs on hand, so all I needed to purchase was chicken ($6) and yogurt ($3)…not bad for enough food for days. Get creative if you don’t have everything here; onion powder can be subbed in if you don’t have garlic powder, cayenne pepper can take the place of chili powder, or if you have Creole spice, use that in place of everything. Next time I may use panko bread crumbs for some added crunch, but this was a stellar recipe…and I didn’t even have to break my no frying rule.

Oven Fried Chicken

Closely Adapted from Elle’s New England Kitchen

2 (6 oz) containers plain lowfat yogurt (or Greek yogurt, if you can find it)

3 TBSP Dijon mustard

3/4 tsp Tabasco (or other hot sauce)

Salt

Garlic Salt

Pepper

Paprika

Dried Oregano

Chili Powder

Dried Thyme

3 - 3 1/2 pounds chicken pieces, rinsed and patted dry (I used all breasts)

2 1/2 cups dry bread crumbs

1 1/2 tsp salt

2 Tbs olive oil

1. In a bowl, stir together yogurt, mustard, Tabasco, a good shake of garlic powder, oregano, thyme, paprika and chili powder, and salt. Put chicken in a large ziptop bag, add marinade, seal the bag and turn to coat chicken completely . Marinate for at least 6-8 hours, but overnight is better.
2. Line a large baking dish with sides with heavy duty foil. Spray lightly with oil spray. Heat oven to 400° (375° for boneless).
3. In a medium bowl, combine bread crumbs, and a few shakes of garlic powder, salt, chili powder, oregano, thyme, paprika and a few grinds of pepper.
4. Roll each piece of chicken in the crumb mixture.
5. Place chicken in prepared pan and drizzle with olive oil.
6. Bake 50 minutes to one hour (30-35 minutes for boneless) until golden brown and juices run clear.

Resourceful

As I said yesterday, my cheapness is random and often inexplicable. Designer jeans? Yes. Venus razors? No.

In an attempt for you to save money for your jeans, or those hookers, or that nose job, here are some websites you may find useful:

The Culinary Review: It’s not the prettiest site out there, but what it lacks in looks it makes up in practicality. Recipes on here are broken down by cost and by calorie count, two things I greatly appreciate. General cost saving tips are also included; a great resource.

Google Recipes: This is a fantastic tool for figuring out what to make with the odds and ends in your kitchen. You enter ingredients and it pulls up a recipe that can be made with the components. As an example, I just looked in my fridge and found some bean sprouts, green onions and a few eggs. Egg Foo Young, Hot and Sour Soup and a mixed vegetable omelette were just a few of the suggestions listed.

All Recipes: All Recipes is a fairly run of the mill recipe site, but they have a few great sections including a whole section dedicated to cooking on a budget. Not quite as obvious, but just as cost effective: the section on cooking “dinner in a hurry”. Fast dinners generally mean limited ingredients, hence cheap. Plus, it has the added bonus of being a quick meal.

There are a ton more sites out there that give cost saving tips, but a lot of them are run by kooky fundamentalist Christian families with 17 children. Which, though I am sure they know how to save some money, they are also contributing to overpopulation, the depletion of our resources, a generation of undereducated children, and their fashion sense kills me. If savings come with a side dish of the Lord, I don’t want them. Find those sites on your own.

A Penny Saved…

Last week, within 48 hours, I received my federal and state tax income returns as well as my stimulus check. Like any sensible person, I promptly ran out and blew an obscene amount of money on shampoo and cosmetics; it’s costly to create the illusion of being so pretty. As I kept on spending the money, the deposits kept coming, which caused my bank account to creep up as I made a valiant effort to deplete it. I wish I could apply this crazy magic to other parts of my life.

Of course, after all this frivolity, I was slapped right back in to reality with a trip to the grocery store. A small basket full of basics set me back $50, and this was not even enough food for a week. A lot has been mentioned in the past weeks about the staggering rise in food costs, but like any good American, none of this really matters to me unless I am directly effected by it. I will pay $30 for a lipgloss, but more than $3 for a half gallon of milk is just crazy talk. I need to save my money for all my drunk purchases on iTunes. (And hello Donna Summer! It was so nice to see you when I woke up Sunday morning…)

Due to my miserly ways, I’ve decided to make this week a theme week of sorts…cooking on a budget. Now this is not nearly as fun as School Spirit Week (raise your hand if “Pajama Day” was your favorite…you are in good company…), but it is a zillion times more practical. Recipes this week will be made with pantry staples and cost effective ingredients from the grocery store.

First out of the gate is this chicken with spicy black bean sauce. Made from canned beans, which cost pennies and staples most home cooks have at home, this was shockingly good and a great change of pace. Also, this is pretty open to adaptation; the only essentials are the beans, sesame oil and soy sauce. Other than that, I think you can get fairly creative with whatever you have in your pantry (I have included some suggestions in the recipe). We adorned chicken with this black bean sauce, but it would be great with tilapia, which is also very cost effective.

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would, which was a nice surprise? Who said being cheap has to be bad?

Chicken with Spicy Asian Black Bean Sauce

Adapted from 28 Cooks

4 breasts fillets, pounded out
1 to 2 tbsp olive oil (or vegetable oil)
salt/pepper
1/2 c black beans, drained, rinsed, and coarsely mashed
2 tbsp onion, finely chopped (Note: I made this with Irish and she doesn’t like whole onion so we used a few good shakes of onion powder)
2 tsp minced ginger (or a healthy pinch of powdered ginger)
2 tsp chili garlic sauce (a squirt of Sirracha and a clove of garlic would work if you have that on hand or some garlic powder and red chili flakes)
1/4 c sesame oil
1/4 c seasoned rice wine vinegar (unseasoned would be fine as well, though it may need more salt)
1/4 c soy sauce

Preheat broiler. Salt and pepper the chicken breasts and cook until done in a pan on the stovetop. Meanwhile, in a small pan, saute onion for 1 minute. Add all remaining ingredients, and over high heat, bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer for 4-5 minutes, until sauce thickens up. Serve chicken topped with a generous portion of sauce.

I See a Treadmill in My Future

Yesterday was the first genuinely good day I have had in a long time.

-Two great career opportunities came down the pike

-DC and federal tax returns arrived

-I celebrated the magnificent bettyjoan’s birthday…and she loved the gift I got her

-This hot dog:

Yes, that is a bison hot dog on a pretzel roll smothered in bacon and cheese…what are you going to do about it?

I am sure I will be mowed down by a renegade bus this afternoon, for the Universe is not normally this kind, but at least I ate this before I died.